shooting yourself in the foot while he's shot well and truely over the bar

In a perfect world, I would wake up in the morning, after hitting my snooze button five or six times, roll over and give my porn star girl friend a tap on the bum saying "get to it". I then wouldnt have to head off to work, instead would simply lounge by the pool, perving on my missus titts as they bounce too and fro as she clipped a few small branches off the money tree, growing down the side of my mansion. Unfortunately we live and a parallel universe to that one, an evil world were we must oblige by the rules and regulations of human selection. We scower the globe, rummaging through years of torment, anguish and desire for the perfect mate.
This search is like a hunger for perfection, the perfect face, the perfect body, the perfect personality, and some one who can cook a bloody pie. Yet after all those years searching for that perfection, that sisteen chapel we pull up stumps and decide "yeah they'll do," and end up with a, well lets face it ,a bag of mixed nuts. So in this instance of "right here right now" you would most likely be stuck with a vicious hand of the following

*fugly (fucken ugly) but nice personality

*huge bitch (chunky) but willing to go that extra mile, knowing theyll most likely never get another root again after you

*hot BITCH (its in capitals for a reason) yeah shes hot but she insists on wearing the pants, and the "star fish" is her favourite position, cause she doesn't like to sweat

*The cougar (old duck but still looks the goods) if u have gone this way i believe the world is your oyster, up until she hits 60ish and ur still 40 odd and sex is starting to smell like burnt rubber. but as they say "old chook make good soup."

* Teenie Bopper ( young bird ) these things go off like a cat on a hot tin roof, yet can whinge and squawk like a lorrakeet being mauled by a dingo

and finaly, the smartie ( brains bigger than her boobs) most likely to smart to be with you.

The problem being that for some idiotic reason the average male has given up hope of searching for that perfection and has began settling for one of those "up there"or a woman that does not meet his original criteria . This has put the world as we know it at risk and turmoil, spinning the earth on a completely different axis. I hear u asking "what the hell has he been smoking?"
Truth is you yourself have probably noticed a change in the air but have yet to put 2 and 2 together. You know what im talking about, your walking down the street hand in hand with your "fugly" and what do you discover walking the opposite direction?.... you see a absolute stunner walking side by side, 6inches taller, than her little dweeb/nerd/fatty boyfriend..... WTF?
like I said, the world is spinning off its axis,... How has this little fatty come up with the goods on something which is well out of his league? And simple. The good looking roosters of our generation have given up on "that dream 4 perfection", thinking it is well out of their reach, and has settled for the easy, I cant be fucked anymore option... which is fine, but almost a whole generation of good looking roosters have taken this option, leaving the gate wide open for the chicken hawks. The chicken hawks are reaping the spoils and ending up with tail far to good for them. If this continues, think of the consequences... They must be stopped, we must unite and rise up against these little vermin laughing at us, while having sex with unbelievably hot women. We must Not give up the quest for the hotness, we must not give in to the fuglies, but most importantly we shall bring down those little chicken hawks who have shot well and truly over the bar, walking hand in hand with their model girlfriends, and return the world to Order,
otherwise youll still be jacking off to porn and nothing will of changed.